I Got Relationship Advice From J-List!

Hey everyone! It’s been nearly a year since I last posted something on my blog, but here I am once again. I will try my best to be more consistent with my writing, but for now, I would like to kick off my first post of 2018 with something…interesting that happened to me today (or the other day, depending on when you’re reading this). I know the title sounds clickbaity, but I promise you that this is something that actually happened (now it sounds even more clickbaity XD).

To give the situation a bit more context, without getting too personal, I’ve been in a bit of a slump lately with regards to dating and relationships. As I was casually scrolling through my Twitter feed I came across this post made by J-List.

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The image says “You don’t ask a guy out! You make the guy ask you out!”

So me, being the curious person that I am, decided to read the comments section of this post to see what other people thought about this. I didn’t expect it, however, to become so personal.

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A snippet of one of the comments made by a user. Also, this was one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever read.

I soon decided to add my own comments to the post, since I could relate to one of the comments another person made earlier. Mr J-List, himself, replied to my comments and gave me some sound relationship advice.

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Fellow aniblogger, LynLynSays, also added her thoughts on the matter.

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LynLyn’s top comment refers to the chemistry between two people and how it can make or break your chances of potentially dating that person

So here are my thoughts and comments on this in relation to my own dating and relationship problems and experiences: Mr J-List is right in saying that there should be a balance between two people in any sort of relationship; be it romantic, business or friendship. The moment it reaches a point where one person starts investing in the relationship more than the other, that is when misunderstandings and problems start creeping in. This brings me to Mr J-List’s second piece of advice: for every problem, there is a solution. If you ever feel that there are underlying problems in your relationship, speak to the other person and tell them about it. I learnt this the hard way, unfortunately, as that was the cause of my first break up.

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When you want to talk to your friend/partner about problems in your relationship, but you’re scared that it might ruin it.

In regards to the comments made by LynLyn, I completely agree with her comment about chemistry. Sometimes you might find a person who looks good on paper (good job, financially secure, etc.), but you just don’t “click” with them. That does not, necessarily, make them a bad person, it just means that they don’t match with what you’re potentially looking for in a partner. I’ve talked and gotten along with various women, but for the most part, they were just platonic interactions. Does that make them bad people? No. It just means that I wasn’t interested in dating them. However, having good chemistry with someone does not automatically mean that the two of you will start dating immediately. I’ve asked out women before whom I’ve had good chemistry with, but most of them rejected me. That doesn’t make them bad people, it just means that I wasn’t their “type”.

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I assume that most of you are probably asking, “Dale, this is supposed to be an anime blog. What does dating and relationships have to do with anime?” Well, fellow reader, J-List is a well known online seller of Japanese and Anime products in Japan (unintentional shameless plug there) so that kinda counts as anime related, I guess XD. But on a more serious note, I thought I’d start my 2018 blogging journey with something out of the norm. I’ve also seen other aniblogging sites, like Two Happy Cats and Arthifis, talk about their dating experiences and I thought I’d try my hand at it too.

Dating and relationships are a natural part of life and everyone experiences these things differently. That is why I always find it refreshing to read and listen to other people’s experiences, especially when they were able to find someone special in their life. So what are some of your thoughts and experiences on dating and relationships? Any words of wisdom or advice that you would like to share with other readers? Also, in an effort to be more inclusive for my LGBTQI readers, should only one person make the first move, or should both people try to make the effort? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below, or connect with me on Twitter @Xperimance. Till next time, folks!

 

4 thoughts on “I Got Relationship Advice From J-List!

Add yours

  1. Oh this was a great post! And welcome back! 😀
    And I completely agree with you! Although I would add something… Respect. It’s just super important! I think you can only achieve balance if the two parts have respect for each other! 😛
    Regarding asking to go out and things like that… Well, I’ve not done something like that in 5 years, so I dunno if my idea is still on point at the moment, but I don’t think the “Men should do the first move” or that “Girls should play hard to get”… Please… If you like someone say so! Tell them you find that person interesting and if they are open to go do something together. The worst thing that could happen would be receiving a negative answer and stay the same as you are at the moment! But maybe that’s just me who likes simple things xD
    I was a little surprised that you came accross my little post though and even mentioned in your post… Well, thank you so much and you made my day! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha I remember reading your post and still having it fresh in my mind so I felt that I had to name drop one of my inspirations for this post 😋

      I agree with you that any type of relationship is built around respect. If you respect and care for someone, you would always go out of your way to do something good for them. I also wish many people did what you said and just tell the other person that they’re interested in them and not play the whole “waiting game”. You miss too many chances with people by doing that. I’ve heard people tell me in the past, “Oh, so and so really liked you” and I would be like, “how would I have known? They didn’t tell me.”

      Liked by 1 person

  2. LOL. I like listening to people’s dating and love life experiences as well.

    I don’t have a lot of experience in dating as well, but I’m not someone who likes casual dating or relationships. I look for husband-material and not boyfriend material. For some people, they would consider me “picky” but it’s more like I know what to look for in a guy and what are my likes and dislikes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with setting your standards high like that and looking for someone who you hope to spend the rest of your life with. I kind of have that same mindset too when looking for potential partners so I can get a bit picky as well (hence why online dating hasn’t really worked for me xD)

      Liked by 1 person

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